Perceptor, Spike, and Red Bull
by Dragon260
Summary: Perceptor learns about Red Bull. Perceptor wants to see if it really gives you wings. Perceptor secretly gives Spike large doses of Red Bull. The Autobots want to know why Spike can't stop vibrating.


This….I'm sorry about not getting my other stories done, but Transformergirl gave me a huge list of Plot Bunnies from her DA journal and I saw one, which incidentally, bit me in the aft, along with Skywarp (my muse….don't ask) howling in laughter and nagging me to write it out!

I'll get you Skywarp!

Summary: Perceptor learns about Red Bull. Perceptor wants to see if it really gives you wings. Perceptor secretly gives Spike large doses of Red Bull. The Autobots want to know why Spike can't stop vibrating.

Transformers do not belong to me, they belong to Hasbro. And the plot bunny belongs to their respectable owners…(if I can find out who…)

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Perceptor was humming, walking along the halls towards his room after collecting some needed items for his new observation. Moss are very unique here, and the funny thing is that the humans sometimes use moss as their way of direction, seeing that it always point North.

He peered through his little vial containing moss from the surrounding forest which was lightly pinched between his digits. A thought entered his processor, _This vial would be an equivalent of a large cup for humans._

And speaking of humans, Spike or the others might have left their TV on because when he passed by the recreational room he heard a muffled chatter from the room that was most certainly not Autobots and the voices didn't sound similar like their human allies. Perceptor walked backwards and entered the currently empty room to turn off the TV, but paused when he heard a particular sentence.

"…_Red Bull give you wings! Drink some Red Bull…"_ The rest became a tuneless hum as Perceptor's mind was filled with his new object of observation. _Does this Red Bull really give human wings…?_

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Spike wiped his brow before his sweat can drop into his eyes, or into the delicate circuitry that is Swoops hip. Bringing his head out into the hot sun of the summer, Spike pat the flying Dinobot's wings as he closed the panel, "Alright Swoop, your joints are now well oiled and there shouldn't be any problems. But just incase I'm wrong, go to Ratchet."

Swoop looked from the tiny human in front of him, to the other human behind him seeing Spike's creator nodding with a pleased smile, then down to his hip.

With an experimental shake and small walk Swoop looked up to Spike, his toothy beak managing into a smile, or at least a smile that a flying, mechanical dinosaur could. "Me Swoop no feel creaking anymore! Me Swoop is grateful for human Spike."

Spike laughed, along with Sparkplug who said while giving a small playful slap on Spike's shoulder, "Ah, no problem Swoop. I knew that Spike could handle a small maintenance work."

Spike slightly blushed(not that anyone could see it underneath the hot skin) at the praise and laughed, "Aw jeeze dad." Then he panted, fanning his face in desperate attempt to cool down.

Swoop noticed and inquired with a worried tone, "Is Spike alright?"

"Yeah, it's just hotter out this summer than normal." Spike almost wished he could roll his tongue out and pant like a dog. He was certainly feeling like one right now. He was hot. Very, very hot and only just realized it now after finishing his small repair job on Swoop.

And thirsty. Oh boy is he thirsty!

Sparkplug just realized that too, and berated himself for not bringing a bottle of water out. He was hot too, evidence that he was drenched in sweat. He knew it was going to be hot, but didn't realize just _how_ hot it would be today.

"It's ok Swoop, Spike and I just need to get inside the Ark and get something to drink."

Sparkplug steered an unresisting Spike into the entrance of the Ark, the cooler climate bringing much needed relief for Spike and Sparkplug's overheated body. And immediately Sparkplug dragged his son to the recreational room, to get cold bottles of water from the human size fridge. Both of them opened the fridge at the same time and immediately their hopeful smiles turned into one of horror.

"WHERE ARE ALL OF THE DRINKS?!"

"Oh…!" Spike and Sparkplug turned to see the source of a small squeak, only to see Carly with a sheepish, guilty smile on her face. And in her hand was an empty plastic bottle of water.

Spike had a look on his face that made Carly feel even more guilty: a look of a kicked puppy, staring at the empty bottle. She spoke up, "Um, I'll go get some more at the store, Spike."

Sparkplug sighed, "I may as well go, too. I got supplies that I would like to get at some stores as well. You don't mind if I tag along Carly?"

She shook her head, smiling, "No, I don't."

Spike opened his mouth to come along, but his father cut him off, "No son, you stay here and cool off." And left before he could argue.

Shoulders slumped, he crashed onto one of the couches, not moving a single muscle and looking for the world like he was sleeping.

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Perceptor got them. He has several Red Bulls in his servos, thanks to a bemused Jazz getting the drinks for him.

Now if only he can find Spike, or any other humans really.

Peeking his head into the recreational room, Perceptor visibly brighten when he saw Spike on the couch. Walking towards him, he saw that the human is a bit red and sweating. Frowning, he inquired of his health.

"Nothing Perceptor, I'm just cooling down right now. But I really would like to have some drinks right now. Milk, juice, water, anything." Spike said, blowing a gust of hot air out of his lungs, trying and failing to wet his parched lips.

Then he added as an afterthought, "Except energy drinks. Dad forbade me to ever get near one…"

"I have some beverages that you may like." Perceptor offered. Spike immediately bolted upright and stared intently at Perceptor, "You have some drinks?"

Blinking at the surprising display, he could only nod.

Spike suddenly gave Perceptor wide, begging eye's, "Please Perceptor, I would just love to have some right now."

Perceptor smiled, "Of course." and handed Spike a large canister.

Spike gulped down much of the energizing liquid without tasting it.

Perceptor's smile dwindled as he didn't see any wings coming out of Spike's back, "Thanks Perceptor!"

Five minutes later, Spike started vibrating with untamed energy. He kept on fidgeting, tapping his fingers in erratic tune, vibrating both of his legs, he suddenly stood up.

He needed to _do_ something…

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When Carly and Sparkplug came back to the base an hour later, they saw Perceptor near the entrance with a complementing frown on his face. Carly and Sparkplug looked at each other, then Carly spoke up to the red microscope, "Something on you mind Perceptor?"

Perceptor, without looking at them, answered absent mindedly, "Red Bull does not give you wings…" then the rest was scientific jargon that the two humans could not understand.

Sparkplug and Carly looked at each other again and shrugged.

Deeper into the Ark they went, the more they became apprehensive.

They passed a confused Dinobot name Grimlock, asking why is he called Barney and why is he purple.

They also almost got trampled on by a running, nearly invisible Mirage. Emphasis on the _nearly_ invisible. They saw a floating painting of a Hawaiian t-shirt and blue shorts running in mid air.

They had to stifle a laugh when Optimus walked by, showing a nice view of an outline of a naked woman on two mudflaps on his aft.

And they nearly got trampled again by a speeding Sideswipe and Ratchet,who had the Nazi symbol on they usual place of the red cross (Sparkplug had to smother a smirk when he saw the symbol), yelling about his equipments being superglued to the table and Sideswipe yelling that it wasn't him.

"I SWEAR TO PRIMUS, I DIDN'T DO IT. I DIDN'T EVEN PAINT THAT ON YOU!!"

"Get back here you glitch head! I'm going to reformat you into a toaster, I WILL turn you into a toaster fraggit!"

An unimpressed Prowl stormed by in pink polka dotted painted bikini. Carly broke down laughing at that one. And when they finally reached their destination in the recreational room to fill up the fridge with human drinks, they were crowed by a bunch of worried and amused Autobots, asking them why Spike was vibrating.

Thinking back on the strange comment that Perceptor made, Sparkplug eye's widen and he cursed, "Oh slag!"

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Well, that's it. I hope it wasn't too crappy.


End file.
